Vanishing on 7th Street

When nearly all the population of Detroit vanishes without a trace four terrified strangers find themselves taking refuge in a deserted bar.  Frantically working to maintain any available source of light as an eerie unnatural darkness creeps forth the group searches for answers while fending off the shadowy figures creeping in the blackness. 

From the description I read on Netflix it sounded like this movie could have some potential to be interesting.  This was by no means an original concept and has worked well in other movies however it did not work at all here.  This was an hour and thirty minutes of time I can never get back.

The script is an absolute mess and has so many plot holes that could have been filled with a much better movie had one existed.  By the end of the movie it’s still a mystery what caused the mass disappearance as some vague suggestions are thrown around but nothing which would have made this movie thought provoking or entertaining.  Now I don’t need everything spelt out for me and I do like movies that leave something for the viewer to contemplate but this movie simply stunk in its delivery and conclusion.  After finishing the movie I read an interview with the director who in not so many words put it out there that even he didn’t have any idea what the plot meant.  Further searching led to viewer discussions that ranged from religious tones to unknown phenomenon.  My personal interpretation of this movie is that it was a steaming pile of garbage.

On top of this the script served up four characters that are completely uninteresting and so stupid they didn’t deserve to survive long enough to reach the bar.  When they are finally together they form a group I like to refer to as the brain trust.  The group generates a collective level of stupid that can’t be measured by any means known to man.  The acting or lack thereof was nothing to make any special mention of.  Mainly consisting of emotions such as fear and confusion all that came across a complete sense of bafflement which I am not sure was intentional. 

By the conclusion of the movie there were more questions than answers and these weren’t questions related to the story, these questions dealt more with the plot holes and stupidity that riddled the movie.  This is a movie that can be skipped without so much as a second thought.

Rating: 1 Reel

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Director: Kevin Munroe
Writers: Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer
Stars: Brandon Routh, Sam Huntington, Anita Briem

Having at one time specialized in the affairs of the undead, retired private investigator Dylan Dog is reluctantly pulled back into service when a client named Elizabeth hires him to look into the murder of her father at the hands of a werewolf.  Following what few leads he has Dylan is soon pursuing an ancient relic that could start a war on the streets of Louisiana between the rival vampire, werewolf and zombie clans that inhabit the cities underbelly.  Dealing with uncooperative allies from his past and no specific leads to follow Dylan accompanied by his assistant Marcus must search the bowels of the city for an unknown foe while trying to prevent an impending war.

Having read that this movie was based on a series of Italian comic books which I have never read I’m not sure how well the story and characters transitioned to film.  It looked like an entertaining movie when I saw the first trailer but still one of those movies which can wait for DVD.  There wasn’t much theater time which indicated I was probably right in my assumption to wait for video and after receiving it from Netflix I was right.  Although it does have its share of flaws I don’t think the movie deserved every single bad review it received.

Beginning with the script it was a bit of a mess.  Instead of focusing on the main plot it kept dropping hints of another story that was apparently a big part of Dylan’s past and the reason he retired from working with the undead.  Using two redundant flashbacks and an extremely bare bones explanation from the villain nothing more is told.  It was easy enough to draw an assumption but all that succeeded in doing was making Dead of Night feel as though it should have been a sequel to this barely touched upon story.  But as this movie ended up failing that will never happen, not a huge loss either way.  Another point of fail is the dialogue which when not intentionally goofy took away from the intended impact some scenes were apparently meant to have as well as making certain characters seem bland and unimpressive.

As for the acting, Brandon Routh and Sam Huntington were the ones who dragged this film as far as it could go.  Routh who makes his second attempt at playing a comic book character - Dylan Dog, offers a performance that is slightly brooding while somewhat comical and adds a little bit of tough guy attitude without taking it to serious.  Sam Huntington plays the role of Marcus the bumbling sidekick who adds the comic relief with some over acting and a lot of yelling which at times became unfunny and annoying.  Some comedy has a limited life span and should be allowed to die with dignity.  Taking on the role of Vargas the leader of the vampire clan is Taye Diggs.  Lacking that menacing personality any good villain should have it made for a boring and unconvincing performance.  This can’t all be blamed on Diggs as the dialogue did help in crushing the potential for this role as with all the others.  And finally playing Elizabeth the client is Anita Briem.  There really isn’t anything noteworthy of this performance as Briem really didn’t seem to do more than take up space in each shot she was in.  Her character was supposed to be a key part in the movie and ended up being lackluster and void of any qualities to indicate otherwise.

This whole concept probably would have worked a lot better had it been a made for cable movie.  That way both stories could have been made and not just hint at a potential prequel and leave the viewer guessing the back story.  If this is something you feel you need to see cable is a good option. 

Rating: 1 1/2 Reels

The Ward

Director: John Carpenter
Writers: Michael Rasmussen, Shawn Rasmussen
Stars: Amber Heard, Mamie Gummer, Jared Harris

After being arrested for burning down a farmhouse for reasons unknown a troubled girl named Kristen is placed into a ward at North Bend psychiatric hospital.  Possessing no memories of her life prior to setting the fire Kristen begins treatment under the supervision of Dr. Stringer, the physician responsible for treating the other handful of girls residing in the ward.  Soon after her arrival Kristen begins to sense something isn’t right as she encounters what appears to be the ghost of another young girl.  Seeking answers from Doctor Stringer as well as the other girls Kristen is convinced her life is in danger and knows she must escape before it’s too late.

This is one of those straight to DVD movies I stumbled upon within the Netflix new release selections.  When I saw that it was directed by John Carpenter I had hoped that this movie would have some of the old JC magic seen in many of his earlier films such as The Thing, Escape from New York, Prince of Darkness, etc.  Unfortunately this wasn’t the case this movie was a bore.  The only noticeable JC trademarks are the occasional theme music which is very brief and can barely be heard along with some lighting techniques that didn’t seem to succeed in accomplishing any set tasks.  Unfortunately it feels like John Carpenter’s better days are far behind him.  In JC’s defense (not that he needs me to defend him) I will say it’s nearly impossible to create something when you have nothing to work with. 

So with that said I patiently waited two hours for anything that would provide a quick scare, a moment of shock, suspense or even some off kilter humor  but it quickly became apparent that this was not to be found.  Failing greatly to deliver anything that would resemble a horror movie is lost in the generic pages of this meek and timid script.  

The cast all seemed to fall into the generic model of actors who dial in their performances.  There wasn’t a believable emotion that made me feel like something horrible or chilling was about to happen.  Watching the actors go through the motions was almost as boring as sitting through the beginning credits while I was finishing up another task before the movie started.

I can’t even recommend watching this movie if it ever made it onto late night television.  Undoubtedly there would have to be something better to watch than two hours of this dribble.

Rating: 1 Reel

Conan the Barbarian

Director: Marcus Nispel
Writers: Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer, Sean Hood
Stars: Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols  

Searching for the man responsible for the death of his father and the slaughter of his people, Conan travels the lands of Hyboria on a quest for vengeance.  What he finds not only pits him against a hated adversary but a man who plots to unleash an evil supernatural force that could destroy the human race.

Since I was a kid I have been a fan of Conan having read countless Robert E. Howard stories, seen the movies with Arnold Schwarzenegger and even read a few comics.  When I heard there was a new movie in the works I was curious to see what direction this movie was going to take.  Was there going to be a new take on the character and was the story going to be expanded upon or taken in a whole new direction?  Well when the trailers came out I was admittedly a little hesitant due to what I saw but I remained determined to give this film the benefit of the doubt.   

As I walked out of a nearly empty theater I found myself disappointed knowing the movie had the potential to be so much better.  Keep in mind the movie wasn’t horrible but the script could have used a major reworking to create a hard R rated film that was grim, darker and a lot more chaotic.  Instead what was released was more of a bare bones action film that lacked a hard edge suitable for a Conan movie.

The dialogue throughout the film was bad and not in a laughable bad way.  The only character who didn’t seem out of place speaking was Conan as I didn’t expect anything profound from a guy whose sole purpose is to slaughter everything in his path.  Another irritating point was the anticlimactic ending which again similar to the original could have used a little more of a confrontation between Conan and Khalar Zym.  It felt like it lacked the raw energy one would expect from two warriors determined to kill one another.

What helped make up for the short comings was the amount of violence which was accomplished with nicely choreographed fight scenes.  When the action starts it’s fast and angry, weapons swinging and blood spraying every which way.  A nice addition was Jason Momoa doing his own stunts as he crashed through sets in the chaos of battle.  It’s always a hit or miss when an actor does their own stunts, Momoa was decent in this movie.  Another big point of notice was the set designs.  The settings and visuals seemed like they were pulled from the pages of Howard’s stories giving birth to a Hyborian realm which had never before been captured on film.

As for his portrayal of Conan, Jason Momoa made the part his own in just about every way.  The attitude, physicality, mannerisms, personality and appearance all fit together to create what came across as a deadly Cimmerian warrior worthy of the sword he wielded.  The same can be said for Leo Howard who played the young version of Conan.  Howard showed all the same traits and characteristics in a pint sized version of the Cimmerian on a journey to become a warrior.  Opposing Momoa in the role of the villainous Khalar Zym is Stephen Lang.  Delivering a performance that adds an intense and physical side not seen from the villains in the two previous renditions, Lang was a little over the top which made for some questionable acting.  Whether the scene called for loud and crazy or quiet and brooding Lang was able enough to capture the persona of a madman possessed with becoming a god.  Accompanying Lang is Rose McGowan who takes the role of Marique, the sorceress daughter of Khalar.  McGowan gives a performance that is creepy at times but otherwise unimpressive.  Completing the main cast is Rachel Nichols as Tamara, a monk who possesses the key that Khalar Zym needs to complete his ritual and fulfill his destiny.  Showing some different sides to her characters personality which didn’t amount to a lot, not unlike McGowan there wasn’t much to the role which seemed memorable.

Although this isn’t a horrible movie it still lacks important qualities which would have created a decent movie, instead it shoots wide and misses the mark.  If you’re a fan of Conan and the works of Robert E. Howard this is potentially worth renting once available on DVD. 

Rating: 2 Reels



The Enforcer

Director: James Fargo
Writer: Stirling Silliphant, Dean Riesner
Stars: Clint Eastwood, Tyne Daly, DeVeren Bookwalter

When a terrorists group calling itself The People’s Revolutionary Strike Force kidnaps the mayor of San Francisco and threatens to kill him unless their ransom demands are met it’s up to Inspector Harry Callahan to take matters into his own hands.  Saddled with an inexperienced newly promoted partner this could prove to be Callahan’s toughest assignment yet.  Determined to take down the terrorists in a style all his own, Callahan once again proves why he has earned the name ‘Dirty Harry’. 

Long before the cowboy quoting cop in the exploding high rise or the partnership between a young homicidal cop and a veteran cop ready to retire or even the Texas Ranger who knocked out a criminals front teeth with a snap kick there was the legendary bad ass cop who started it all, ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan. 

The third film in a series that totals five, The Enforcer falls in line perfectly.  The script is well written and contains a good mix of dry humor and in your face tough guy attitude that when delivered by Clint Eastwood creates the perfect mood for each scene. Also thrown into the mix are the expected disrespectful but justifiable comments and remarks Harry throws at anyone who irritates him. 

Harry: Here's a seven-point suppository, Captain.
Capt. McKay: What did you say?
Harry: I said stick it in your ass.

(In reference to Harry handing over his badge to Capt. McKay)

Sarcastic, threatening and at times humorous these comments and one liners became a trademark of the character and add a perfect layer to Harry's personality. 

The action sequences throughout the film are well paced and never allow for a moment of boredom to set in.  From the moment the beginning credits end Harry and his partners Smith & Wesson are manhandling any situation which presents itself.  From receiving a call about a restaurant patron having a heart attack to the explosive finale the movie doesn’t stop.  In my opinion The Enforcer has the best ending of any movie in the series.

What more can or needs to be said about casting Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry?  Possessing an incredible ability to create a screen presence that without a doubt hits the mark every time, Eastwood incorporates the ideal amounts of tough guy attitude, sarcasm and biting humor into the role.  Combine those qualities with his often intimidating or intense appearance and strong physicality Eastwood has created a character icon. 

Playing the role of the newly appointed Inspector Kate Moore is Tyne Daly.  When Daly makes her first appearance it’s made obvious that there is going to be instant friction between Kate and Harry.  Working on this angle Daly does a nice job showing that what her character lacks in field experience she makes up for with intelligence.  Another side of the character which comes into play is the lack of hardness which Daly shows in her reactions to certain situations as well as her naïve attitude when dealing with shady individuals.  The role gradually evolves nicely to the point where Moore begins to be an asset to Harry as he tracks down the terrorists.  Unlike its two predecessors this movie made use of the partnership angle a bit more which had a bigger impact on the movies climax.

Returning in the roles of Capt. McKay and Lt. Bressler are Bradford Dillman and Harry Guardino and making his appearance as Bobby Maxwell, a Vietnam vet and leader of The People’s Revolutionary Strike Force is DeVeren Bookwalter.

Although this movie could be viewed as a standalone I recommend watching the entire series which spans over seventeen years of Clint Eastwood’s acting career.

Rating: 3 Reels

Marwencol

Director: Jeff Malmberg
Stars: Mark Hogancamp

Suffering from brain damage and permanent memory loss Mark Hogancamp was the victim of a vicious assault that left him in a coma for nine days.  Upon awakening Mark underwent therapy to regain all the skills people take for granted daily.  When it came to light that he was unable to pay for this therapy Mark was discharged from the hospital while still suffering from the after effects of his injuries.  With nothing but a simple job performing various tasks in a local restaurant Mark went about creating his own version of therapy to try and help him regain the life that was taken from him. 

Mark’s therapy all takes place in Marwencol, a 1/6^th scale World War II era town he created and built.  Inhabited by dolls which all represent people he knows including himself, Mark creates various stories some which relate to his incident.  Often taking pictures to capture the stories Mark’s work is seen by a magazine publisher who wants to display the photographs in an art show being held in Greenwich Village, New York.  Conflicted Mark now has to determine whether or not he wants to share these pictures with the outside world which he doesn’t have many interactions with nor feel safe in.

An interesting documentary this film takes you into the world of a man who has created a unique way of dealing with a trauma that dealt a crippling blow to his life.  Given an earlier look into Mark’s life before the incident it becomes clear that he was a drunk who showed signs that he was headed for trouble which he found one night while drunk and talking about some atypical hobbies he had.  Of course this doesn’t justify what happened and the film doesn’t hide or alter the facts of how it happened.

Mixed in with the turmoil which had been Mark’s previous life the film does a nice job of showing the intensity Mark possesses in trying to get his life back while filtering out the mental trauma he deals with daily.  Add to that the artistic traits and skills Mark shows in the incredibly surreal pictures taken during his regular therapy sessions in Marwencol and this makes for an engaging film worth checking out.

Rating: 2 1/2 Reels

Stone Cold

Director: Craig R. Baxley
Writer: Walter Doniger
Stars: Brian Bosworth, Lance Henriksen, William Forsythe

While serving a three week suspension police officer Joe Huff is offered an opportunity to work for the FBI or face an extended suspension. The assignment is to go undercover and infiltrate a biker gang known as The Brotherhood, an extremist gang dealing in drugs and murder. Taking on the identity of John Stone, a biker and recently released convict, Huff begins to infiltrate the gang and earn the trust of their leader Chains Cooper. As events unfold and things take a turn for the worse Joe learns that there’s more to this gang’s plans than dealing drugs and collecting protection money. Now it’s up to Joe to single handedly stop an all out massacre as Chain’s and his crew attempt to “crack the whip”.

A definite B movie this is one of those action flicks that never made it before falling into obscurity.  Taking that into consideration I have seen much worse but that doesn’t make this movie seem any better.  The script is a complete mess and has an over abundance of bad dialogue that made me cringe throughout the movie. The acting is right in line with the script but is a bit more humorous even though it’s unintentional.  It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Brian Bosworth along with the entire cast’s acting careers vanished right to DVD along with this movie.  There is no one person to blame for this mess, it was definitely a group effort.

There’s nothing more to say about this film except watch it at your own risk…

Rating: 1 Reel

Red Riding Hood

Director: Catherine Hardwick
Writer: David Johnson
Stars: Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Shiloh Fernandez

Unwilling to settle for a marriage her parents have prearranged Valerie plans to run away with Peter the man she loves.  This is until Valerie finds out that her sister has been killed by a werewolf that stalks the forest surrounding the village she lives in.  After years of maintaining a peaceful existence with the werewolf the beast has now taken a human life during the period of the blood moon.  Fearful for their lives the villagers call upon the services of Father Solomon a famed hunter of werewolves.  Informing the villagers that the beast could be walking among them the villagers are thrown into a panic while the killings continue and Valerie discovers she possesses a strange tie to the werewolf.

Initially I was hesitant to view this movie not having heard many good things said about it.  But then that defeats the purpose of attempting to write a review.  After viewing I felt what this movie lacked in story and plot originality it did make up for with visuals.  The sets and props definitely helped make this movie look like a dark fairly tale.

The movie isn’t anything new within the monster genre, i.e. inhabitants of a small village terrorized by a murderous beast call on the assistance of a famed slayer of - insert monster name here -.  The movie used a lot of commonly seen plot ideas and characters altering them in various ways to fit this movie.

The script covers its bases but doesn’t venture much further than that.  Throughout the film it is implied that various characters could be the wolf, this unfortunately fails in several ways.  Firstly instead of trying to be subtle with placing suspicion on certain characters it’s done in a manner which seems to be laid on to thick making it almost obvious who isn’t the werewolf.  Secondly at the end of the film a lot of plot holes are revealed using short flashback sequences which further show the misguided attempt to lay suspicion as well as show events that were never even seen in the film.  Another failed moment comes in the form of actions that supposedly happen but when viewing these specific scenes a second time it’s clear that nothing actually did take place as stated.  These combined points make for some frustrating moments when all is revealed at the end of the movie.

Amanda Seyfried who plays the main character Valerie seemed to work well with the material she had.  She seemed to be able to slip into the character easily enough creating a convincing performance.  Gary Oldman who plays Father Solomon is always good at playing the role of the eccentric character that is outspoken and the center of attention.  As for the rest of the cast it’s a tossup as there really wasn’t anything which was note able.

Final consensus is that this movie wasn’t unwatchable regardless of the noted flaws.  However I would lean more in the direction of waiting for availability on cable as an alternative to renting.   

Rating: 2 Reels

IP Man

Director: Wilson Yip
Writer: Edmond Wong (screenplay)
Stars: Donnie Yen, Simon Yam, Siu-Wong Fan

Well respected by everyone in the Chinese province of Fo Shan, Ip Man leads a comfortable life, this is until the Japanese Army occupies the province leaving all its inhabitants poverty stricken.  Working in a coal mine to support his family, Ip Man watches as Japanese troops show up daily and bribe workers to fight in tournaments. Hesitant to get involved Ip Man soon finds himself volunteering when friends and co workers begin to disappear without explanations. After discovering what is actually happening at these tournaments an outraged Ip Man decides he must step in and unleash his own personalized style of kick ass.

A semi factual film based on the life of (Yip) Ip Man, a grandmaster of the martial art known as Wing Chun, this is a good view for any fan of the martial arts.

The script provides a decent enough story that moves at a good pace while seemingly not attempting to recreate any specific events which could be open for debate.  A nice observation about this script is that it doesn’t try to incorporate any of the high flying acrobatic maneuvers which are seen in a lot of other movies in this genre.  It sticks with a decent amount of realism which I found to be a needed change considering it’s loosely based on a real individual within a historical time period.  The actors none of who I am familiar with except Donnie Yen all did a convincing job of creating an atmosphere which was reflective of the times and how the people suffered at the hands of the invading Japanese Army.

That said I won’t deny what really caught my attention about this movie that being the incredible choreographed fight scenes.  Donnie Yen is amazing in this movie, he is truly an incredibly talented martial artist.  The speed in which he throws the combinations of punches and kicks is amazing.  It makes me wonder why he isn’t seen in more main stream movies considering the amount of martial arts actors whose skills pale in comparison.  Over all this was a very entertaining semi biographical movie about a man who would eventually go on to mentor another martial arts legend and actor, Bruce Lee.

Rating: 2 1/2 Reels

Season of the Witch

Director: Dominic Sena
Writer: Bragi F. Schut
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Ron Pearlman, Claire Foy

A knight who deserted his command during the crusades after losing his faith is tasked by the church to transport a young girl accused of being a witch to a remote monastery where she will stand trial.  Accompanied by a motley crew that includes a friend and fellow knight, a priest, a young man who wants to earn his knighthood and a man who has lost his family to the plague, the group sets forth to deliver the girl unaware of the real perils they will face.    

I didn’t expect much from this movie and that’s exactly what I got.  This movie was horrible from start to finish.  Looking at this from a non bias view I can’t honestly think of anything that can redeem this movie, absolutely nothing.  I’ve long since come to the conclusion that Nicolas Cage has to be one of the worst actors in film today.  His performances are either incredibly over the top or completely wooden.  He has long since reached a point that puts him on the same level as Keanu Reeves. 

The acting by everyone involved seemed dialed in, the script was full of bad dialogue and the action if you call it that was very weak.    The special effects couldn’t even add a visual distraction to try and make amends for the rest of the garbage that was being thrown on screen.  The locations and some of the set designs seemed like the only things that had any thought or effort put into them.

Over all there isn’t much to say about this movie accept give the good advice to skip this in favor of something else.   

Rating: 1 Reel